Dear Apartment,

We really appreciate the roof that you put over our head, the memories that you hold, and the many good things about you.  We don’t fault you for the mold, or the broken toilet, or our TV that rarely works.  But we just realized how many thousands of dollars we have spent towards our humble abode during the last 14 months, and it would be nice if at the very least the internet would work long enough for us to submit a maintenance request to alert the managers of these slight imperfections.

Sincerely,

The Jacksons